Chemicals

by Donny Zuzula

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  • Streaming + Download

    Pre-order of Chemicals. You get 9 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    Purchasable with gift card
    releases August 1, 2019

      $5 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Compact Disc in Sleeve with artwork by Dylan McConnell

    Includes digital pre-order of Chemicals. You get 9 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    shipping out on or around August 1, 2019

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Chemicals 12" Vinyl LP in Sleeve with original artwork by Dylan McConnell

    Includes digital pre-order of Chemicals. You get 9 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    shipping out on or around August 1, 2019

      $15 USD or more 

     

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credits

releases August 1, 2019

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Donny Zuzula Bay City, Michigan

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Track Name: Alive
You were like a satellite
Flying high and you catch the light
Above us all you we see you though
As you pass we watch you from below

Through the thick of it all
Even though you lost control
And hurdled like missile to the ground
You made a beautiful sound (crash)

You never let it go
And you never let it show
You fought and fought it to the end
You never ever went without a friend

Seems like most of the time
The signs all point to exits
But to exist you can’t follow them all
Preparing yourself for a great big fall
And when they push you to the ground
And drag you out kicking and screaming
Do not let go of this feeling
It’s what it is to feel
Alive
Alive
It is that feeling that feeling is just being
Alive alive alive alive

And now without you here
There is a sense of fear
That we could lose it any time
You’re gone so loved
We can’t be far behind

With no one here to fill your role
You’re gone and there's hole
And in it there’s just nothing
Yeah there's nothing

Seems like most of the time
The signs all point to exits
But to exist you can’t follow them all
Preparing yourself for a great big fall
And when they push you to the ground
And drag you out kicking and screaming
Do not let go of this feeling
It’s what it is to feel
Alive
Alive
It is that feeling that feeling is just being
Alive alive alive alive
Track Name: Another Shot
I crossed a line today
I went from safety to concern
I marched an army through my mind
Climbed a hill to watch it burn

And I’m alive
I am alive but I’m not well
Raze this city to the ground
Cleanse my mind of this living hell

I want to sleep For weeks and weeks
Chemicals to help me keep
The memories like stinging rain
Another shot could kill the pain

And if I die before I wake
Be sure I have a proper wake
Let them say what they will say
Another whiskey kills the pain

I crossed a line today
I marched to battle and on my way
It’s just a memory
But feels like it’s all happening again

And I’m alive
I can assure you not for long
We only rent this space
And turn to dirt as soon as we are gone

I want to sleep For weeks and weeks
Chemicals to help me keep
The memories like stinging rain
Another Whiskey kills the pain
Track Name: Never Go Back
Sitting
at a table all alone
a candle breaks the night
and in this glass is shown
the reflection of the flame
as it flickers in the darkness
in the gin that semi fills it
as I drink it all alone
all alone

and I’m thinking
about the way it used to be
how the world was so much nicer
when it was just you and me
and my thoughts have turned to sadness
as I’m left here on my own
and the gin still kind of fills the glass
as I drink it all alone
all alone

could things be any different
no they can never be the same
as I’m looking at your picture
I faintly speak your name
I remember all the places and the faces
that had been

and I find myself avoiding
all the things I want to say
because it will not make a difference
it’ll just cause me more pain
and I can never find the nerve
it won’t matter any way


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end


and the teardrops
that run down from my eyes
they fall for all the memories
of friends I left behind
some have faltered some have fallen
and some that I have failed
some a name upon a wall
where widows cry and wail

and you’ll be a painful memory
till they all forget your name
and it won’t have any meaning
in a distant future day
just a name of a man
who died long ago

and I find myself avoiding
all the things I want to say
because it will not make a difference
it’ll just cause me more pain
and I can never find the nerve
it won’t matter any way


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
You can never go back in the end
Track Name: Empty and Gone
Empty
Like this glass
I'll pour another one
think about the past

Still empty
And again
Up until this bottle's gone
it’ll be my dearest friend

Living the high life
Still has it's highs
And the lows
from your site are gone
You can't wash away a hole
That gets bigger with the flow
It's empty
I'm all done
Oh It's empty
I'm all done

I’m empty
because you’ve gone
you took your love away
and I’m alone

Empty
tears fall like rain
until this whiskey
fills me up again

Living the high life
Still has it's highs
And the lows
from your site are gone
You can't wash away a hole
That gets bigger with the flow
It's empty
I'm all done
Oh It's empty
and you’re gone

Empty
Now there’s a hole
Can’t see the bottom on
What once was full

So empty
For good or bad
I’ll drink away the memories
Of what we had
Track Name: Nothing Left to Say
Looking back
I never understood
how things didn’t turn out
how you thought they would
and so in your mind
you just want to quit
you put up a front
and the pain it builds

I just don’t want to take
another breath in this world
that’s how I feel some days
and I know I don’t belong here
but here I am
I’m there and out of place
and don’t even get me started
I’ve got nothing left to say

theres lots of times
oh yes there are
when I feel lost
and count the stars
look to the sky
to help me out
and point me north
when I am lost

you just don’t want to take
another breath in this world
that’s how you feel some days
and you know you don’t belong here
but here you are
here and out of place
and don’t even get me started
I’ve got nothing left to say

We just don’t want to take
another breath in this world
that’s how we feel some days
and we know we don’t belong here
but here we are
here and out of place
and don’t even get me started
I’ve got nothing left to say
Track Name: Any Other Day
I see the difference but just not clearly
it feels like I’m fighting for breath
and the weight of the world is coming down
and crushing on my chest
and my skin is crawling
the tension coils my mind up like a spring
and if it's wound up tight enough
It's gonna crash into
a million pieces

I shouldn't have to learn the hard way
Not to run through the poppy fields
With a loaded gun shoved in my mouth
I’ve lost control is what I’m screaming out

It's getting awful late
And my urge to medicate
Has surpassed my will to use the skills
That keep me from the bottom of the bottle

I guess that’s where I’m going
It's just like any other day


And I’m alone here
I mean there’s lots of people
but no one really looks at me
with understanding
All I feel is remorse
and all the sympathy
it’s sure just a load of shit
don’t thank me for my service
Fuck
It’s hard enough to deal with all of it

I shouldn't have to learn the hard way
Not to run through the poppy fields
With a loaded gun shoved in my mouth
I’ve Lost control is what I’m screaming out

It's getting awful late
And my urge to medicate
Has surpassed my will to use the skills
That keep me from the bottom of the bottle

I guess that’s where I’m going
Like every other day
Track Name: Turn Away
You've swallowed your emotions
For so many years
That there's nothing but rage
But you wish there were tears
Your numbness
Your distance
You've fronted as strength
You keep those you love
Just outside an arms length


Your models of heroes
We're cold hearted fools
Who hid from their lives
Behind bottles of booze
And a backhand came quicker
Than the words I love you
however you try
it's the one thing you can’t do


turn away
see the life that you've made
There's love left in your heart
You won't show it
salvation comes in their hands
and you know it

Don’t turn away
see the ones you’ve betrayed
you’ve hardened your heart
and you know it
but you just don’t understand
so you'll stay a heavy hearted man


and in thirty odd years
if your still alive
and carrying the carcass
of your soul that died
you can go to that your place
where your heroes would hide
propped up on a stool
numbing your failure one glass at a time

turn away
see the life that you've made
There's love left in your heart
You won't show it
salvation comes in their hands
and you know it

Don’t turn away
see the ones you’ve betrayed
you’ve hardened your heart
and you know it
but you just don’t understand
so you'll stay a heavy hearted man

when you’re all gone
buried deep in the ground
where theres no sun light, no wind
no rain and no sound
with just a stone marker
where your corpse can be found
no one will mourn you
when you’re not around
you’ve pushed them away
cause your love’s run aground

turn away
see the life that you've made
There's love left in your heart
You won't show it
salvation comes in their hands
and you know it

Don’t turn away
see the ones you’ve betrayed
you’ve hardened your heart
and you know it
but you just don’t understand
so you'll stay a heavy hearted man
Track Name: Sleep is for the Weak
the morning is coming
it’s 6 am
and this night disappeared
and it’s happened again
when that old demon come
to visit me when
that old green bottle
is my only friend

my mind is clouded
not by hopes and dreams
but by thought of this world
going on without me
and the people that I’ve hurt
and the things that I’ve seen
I take another drink
and in my mind I scream

and I don’t know why
and I don’t know when
but that bottle is always there for me
when I need a friend
and I can’t speak to you
cause you won’t understand
yeah that bottle sits and listens
till I empty it again

I tell that bottle
all my hopes and my dreams
I tell that bottle
all that's happened to me
I tell that bottle
the way that I really feel
that bottle understands me
in a way you never will

my heart is racing
as I lay in my bed
and the images flash
into my head
and I sit and think about
all the things I did
and I stare at the ceiling
and I’m gasping for air

Cause my mind is clouded
with the days of old
and my chest is pounding
and the sweat makes me cold
and thrash in my covers
as they tighten their hold
so I climb out of bed
for a drink once more
Track Name: Chemicals
You know these pills are easy
they’re giving them away
I just call the doctor
I pick em up that day
when I’m feeling down
I have another round
They get me back up on my feet again

I tell you whiskey is easy
it takes bad dreams away
when the guy in the mirror
won’t look away
you can drink it up
until you’ve had enough
and you wake up and you do it all again

Oh what’s the point anymore
What am I living for
Do I know anymore
Oh it feels like such a chore
But the chemicals they keep me hanging round

You know that needle's is easy
it takes away the pain
when the doctor takes away the pills
you can go and see a different man
when you can’t ride it out
with out a doubt
it’ll get you back up on your feet again

Oh what’s the point anymore
What am I living for
Do I know anymore
Oh it feels like such a chore
But the chemicals they keep me hanging round

Checking out is easy
when you live in pain
when you’re life is a terrible dream
and you can’t face another day
just one click
it’ll do the trick
and everything is gonna be ok

Oh what’s the point anymore
What am I living for
Do I know anymore
Oh it feels like such a chore
But the chemicals they keep me hanging round

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